God, Depression, a Magic Cat
For me, spirituality is not a luxury, I need it to survive.
Without God, my depression would be god, as would the world, in all its awfulness determining my fate, creating the whole of my inner and outer realms.
God gives me another world that fills me with stardust, and Faerie powers that tickle my soul.
God sends me friends whose capacity for joy matches my own, so they lift me up out of my depression into my own heights. God sends me friends whose brilliant minds match my own, so we can run around in each other’s brains, getting high and almost frantically delighted like kids on sugar in a candy shop.God sends me people to serve as a shaman and human being. To do so, I must, during that time, be in the real, not subject to society’s exclusion of everything but self-serving pettiness and dominance. No, during our work, I must move into the real. There, I can fly, I get to fly with the people I am serving, we can fly together in joy and utter certainty of life’s gorgeous meaning.
God opens my eyes to ever-present beauty and sexiness and goodness in nature and in people. God plays tricks on me, so I laugh myself out of miserable self-absorption.
Without God, my depression would be god, as would the world’s terrible truths. Nothing I am saying is a statement that, unless you believe in God, you are doomed. I am only talking about me. And, for me, God is not a luxury, my spiritual practices cannot be something “I have no time for, I am too busy just surviving,” because without God I will not have the will to survive.